Progress Report 12-29-17

Today I am faced with a challenge. A universally understood challenge, I would wager. Today I was asked to define myself. What makes me human? What is most important about me? Who am I. I say I know very well. I know I am a woman. I am a Christian. I am from Illinois. I am a tour guide. I am a psychology major. I am single.

I know a lot about myself. But what is the most important thing? Perhaps, knowing that I, no matter how concretely I picture my identifying traits, am a work in progress.

Today I choose to acknowledge that the person I am today is different from the person I was yesterday and the person I will be tomorrow. My characteristics and goals are the same, but my attitudes and feelings are in constant flux. Today I like myself a lot. I acknowledge the advantages and disadvantages associated with my strong (and stubborn) convictions. I am honest with myself.

I'm very happy with the challenges I have been working on for the last ten days. I'd like to reevaluate which ones have been working for me however: I have not completed the happiness challenge nor the self care challenge very faithfully. I truly enjoy the contemplative platforms associated with my other challenges much better than adding another chore. These introspective tasks rejuvenate, reinvigorate and restore me.

Tonight was my first official night on the floor. I found strength because of the increased self awareness I've acquired. Here's to ten days of improvement and proactivity (which is technically reactivity to a break up, but the break up was not so much an end as a beginning)!

Day Ten of

Self Love: How can you set better boundaries in your life?

Get in touch with personal needs. Create consequences for when those personal needs are infringed upon. Ask yourself why some things are okay and some things are not okay. Honor those honest feelings and judge them appropriately. 

Today, I had to consider appropriate boundaries with my ex. I had to ask myself if I would be comfortable going to a concert with him, even with another friend. This band is very special to me, because of its significance in my past relationship. When I listen to their music I think of him and so I fear that seeing them live, with him, may stir up some unresolved feelings. I am trying to resolve things as best I can personally. The relationship is over. This declaration in itself is an example of a boundary I have set emotionally. The consequence associated with the behaviors exhibited by my ex, and the feelings which manifested in myself are that the relationship is terminated, at least until true change is motivated.

Know Yourself Better: Where do I feel safest?

Whenever I'm with my mom

Self Aware: How do I deal with stressful situations? Do I tend to worry a lot? What else do I do?

I try to alleviate my stress the best way I can

Know Thyself: What are you most afraid of?

Burn out

Gratitude: Write about a person with whom you spent time today

Today I spent time with myself. I allowed myself to be alone, but not vacant. I am thankful for times of quiet, even if they are not of peace. I am thankful for challenge. I am thankful for growth. I am thankful to be comfortable with myself and that is truly the purpose of today's healing and reflection.

I am solid. I am good. I have purpose. I know who I am. Do you know who you are?