Progress Report 12-22-17

Self Love: What good habit do you want to begin this month?

Pray daily.

Be More Positive: Have lunch with someone you admire or someone you run into today

I ate lunch with a colleague at Applebees at 3:30 when I got off work and she came in early for the 4pm shift. I don't know her very well but she's very sweet. 

Know Yourself Better: Who matters the most to me?

Grace

Self-Awareness: How much self-control do I have with things that I know are bad for me, but tend to indulge in?

None. But I find healthy solutions to cope or distract my impulses. I eat fruit instead of candy and vegetables instead of chips. I read instead of binge watch netflix. I blog instead of texting my ex. But if I see candy, or chips, or that play next episode button, or, as you'd assume, a message from my ex I have no self control what so ever.

Self-Care: Catch up on a show you enjoy

Pamela and Grace introduced me to How to Get Away with Murder this holiday break. It's great escapism.

Know Thyself: Who are you most inspired by?

Jesus Christ. No human has ever been more perfect than him. No human has ever been so loving or so forgiving. I want to live as he lived. Everything I do is in his name. I try so hard to save people. It is not humanly possible for me to and it is not humanly possible for me to love so deeply and unconditionally. I need boundaries and conditions to protect my heart. I am not Jesus Christ.

Attitude Adjustment: Five things I am thankful for:

Caramel, Gotye, My family, Leather Couches, Heat

 Happiness: Watch a performance (How to Get Away with Murder is an incredible dramatic performance)

Gratitude: What are you grateful for that cannot be bought?

I am so grateful for Andrew and his friendship. There was a meteor shower one night that I had a large group of friends over to my house. It was a thespian movie night. Andrew was the last to leave. I waited for his mom in our drive way with him. We had never spoken. But I pointed out a constellation and he and I talked for twenty minutes about the stars and space. We gradually grew closer after long night talks about religion, love, sexuality, depression, hope, and so much more. This is the most invaluable friendship I have. 

Move Forward: Remember to face issues fix them and not to run away.

Today was very hard. I worked for four and a half hours and was scared out of my mind the entire time. I was so scared of taking orders and not being able to do anything, but I got an apron and a book today! Emotionally I am exhausted. I polled a few more friends on what they learned from taking breaks from their partners, but ultimately I felt sad. I saved these exercises for the end of the day but I think they could have really saved me from so much distress. I saw Andrew and I baked with my mom and sister, but my mind was elsewhere tonight. I need to get my head in the game.