Progress Report 6-5-18

Start video at 1:15m and see what I'm talking about! I have to brag on my mother for a moment, because DAMN,

1,2,3, what would you do with 96G?!!
Pamela Hadley just got funded 6 Million Dollars to change the lives of so many children across America. I am so incredibly proud of her. I'm proud and happy for a lot of people in my life right now too.
I'm really happy for my health, both mental and physical.  I've been working out and eating healthy for a little under a month and it's paying off! I am also in a really positive and happy mind set where even when I experience negative feelings, I accept them, reflect on them, and move on. They don't all have to be shared  all the time with everyone. I used to really need that. I used to have to tell people how I felt and what I was experiencing in order to feel better about those emotions, but journaling again has given me so much peace and distance. Journaling was what saved me in middle school and it is what is saving me again.

I got really freaked out yesterday when I was talking to a friend preparing for her L-SAT. At the end of this year, my junior year, I will have to take placement tests for my student teaching, and my GRE for grad school so that I can begin applying for school psychology programs. I'll also start looking for jobs and figuring out to what city I'm going to move after Butler. Things are tough right now, and I'm always grinding away, but I stay on it because of my mom and my sister and my dad. 

I realized how much I love my family and what an important priority they are. I like being home. I don't mind that I'm not in Ireland on this fullbright, or doing some stand in internship. I am a home body. I like going to go see movies with Matt at the IMAX, and sitting out on our new deck with Grace talking about goofy stuff like astrology. I really love just having a moment to myself to breathe and thank God for all of the good things in my life.

I am so thankful to Pamela for her amazing, shining, inspiring example. She has worked so hard, yet still managed to be a strong parental figure. She knows she prioritized family a little too much and created my codependence. But she's doing a lot better too. She's trusting more. Giving Grace and I more freedom. Hell, she left for China a week ago and has only texted us once a day with amazing pictures. That's an independent mama!! I'm so wicked proud of her.

In other news, Adam, Hollyann, Joey and I are all planning to go see Paramore in July back in Indy and I'm beyond excited! Paramore has been one of my favorite bands since the sixth grade. No matter what mood I'm in, Hayley Williams has me covered. I cannot wait. I'm going to steal her look. Gosh I love concerts so much and I don't know what the best part is? Paramore's music? Adopting Paramore's aesthetic? Going with my best friends?

This is the summer of concerts for me. I'm seeing Paramore, Børns, and The Maine, I'm seeing Halsey and Walk the Moon again. I just want to have fun. I just want to experience life. I may not change the world yet, but I have 26 (Paramore reference, but also reference to Pam's success) years to. I will never stop working hard to have what I want. But I'm okay if it takes a little time. I'm going to stop and smell every rose (colored boy) along the way. Life is too precious to waste time working to an end. I want my life to be the means to the end, not the end to a means.