Self-Love: What is something you ned to start saying yes to?
Exercise, volunteer opportunities, going to church, reading a new book. Anything that will enrich my soul.Be More Positive: Choose a positive mantra for today
"I am in charge of how I feel and today I'm choosing happiness"Know Yourself Better: What do I like to do for fun?
Puzzles!! I like to play games competitively. I like trivia and quizzing my brain. I like learning new things. I like to listen to stories. I like to sing. I like to make art. I like to bake. I like to travel. I like to skate. I like to watch people. I like to spend time with people. I like to eat.Self-Aware: How do I respond to situations I have no control over?
Poorly. I complain. I bitch. I resent these situations. I am frustrated by them.Self Care: clean a room in your house ( I cleaned out Grandma's closet, if that counts!)
Know Thyself: What habit would you like to break? What habit would you like to start?
I want to go to sleep at a better hour (as I sit here typing at 1:27 AM) and I want to pray daily.Attitude-Adjustment: No complaints
Happiness: Garden (I couldn't garden because it snowed about four inches)
Gratitude: Write about a family member for whom you are grateful
Obviously I am grateful for my grandfather because he is stubborn and he taught me everything I've ever needed to know about conviction. He taught me pride. To be proud of my accomplishments and my intelligence. I never felt belittled, only admired and appreciated. He makes me feel special and competent and accomplished. He will cheer on the bulldogs from his lazy boy recliner and he will coach me through any life crisis or decision. He shares advice and stories unsolicited but I respect everything he takes the time to share with me. I appreciate the chain emails he used to send me with beautiful stories, amazing images of nature, or even silly jokes. I developed my love of poetry because of him. I have an understanding of mathematics because of the word problems he'd have us solve at the dinner table. He is a genius who has worked for everything he has in life and I cannot explain how influential and special he is.Move Forward: Remember my past is not equivalent to my future and I should learn from mistakes instead of being ashamed.
It is Christmas Eve and the service tonight was all about the light of Christian faith and the important role we play in sharing the story of Christ's love. I cried as I prayed and I sang and I worshipped. I felt so overwhelmed by his presence and love. But, I cannot see the light. The journey I am taking right now is new. Last year on Christmas Eve I dreamt an angel, in the form of a very close high school friend, explained to me that so long as I had Jesus I did not need love. This year throughout the message I only reflected on my duty to give love. I recognize, especially because today's chapter of my break up book is about Self-Regard, that I sometimes lose myself in my love of others. How do I balance? I am trying to learn this.
I look to God for inspiration, but I look to myself for answers. As I lay here at night, asking for strength and patience I know that I am the only person who can receive and make use of these gifts. My favorite part about Christmas is worship, I have no material wants, just a desire for closeness with others. Spending this holiday with family, no matter how trying it is to love children who do not comprehend language, and elders who cannot form new memories, I feel closeness. I feel connection. I see selflessness and I see selfishness, but more over, I feel God working among us giving us the challenges we can each overcome, and the peace that follows once we have prevailed.
Merry Christmas!
No comments:
Post a Comment